Thursday, August 30, 2012

Long time no chat!!!! it's...let's see...nearing the end of Aug. 2012....what an amazing, interesting, painful, uplifting, cunnundrum of a year!!!!(or even longer)

So, for those of you who DON'T know....I've been married now for just over ONE WHOLE YEAR!!!!
Since I last blogged I have gone through a roller coaster of emotion: I had back surgery, felt amazing for the first time in years, went rock climbing and fell off a mountain and broke my shoulder nearly one year after surgery... I may need another back surgery now...(shoulder healed nicely) quit my job,  moved to Dubai with my ....gulp... husband, started seriously thinking about who I am and what I want and need in MY life...and decided it's time to grow up, grow a pair, and stop not planning.

Moving...gosh, it seemed almost easier to move to the middle east from NY nearly 4 years ago...I was younger and more adaptable I think.  What  a difference a few years make..   I moved there on my own...and moved to Dubai...a much better place as far as social life goes, with my hubby....and it's been a bit of an adjustment.  I'm learning how to be a wifey.  I'm not I'm taking care of the house...(who knew a house needed to be cared for like a baby???)
I'm cooking (gasp), cleaning(gack), gardening(spew), and doing the laudry...that I don't mind
I don't think I'm cut out for this stay at home stuff...although I do like not working for someone else.  So I am thinking about doing something for myself...we shall see....

I have learned alot about myself this past year or so.  I have learned that I am more rigid than I thought I was.  I have learned that I am more needy that I was a few years ago.  I have learned that I have a deep need to be independent and a deeper desire to be catered to. 
I look to the past and have a really hard time envisioning my future.  I love those whom I choose to love and can't make myself love any I don't, but probably should.  I am touched deeply by the smallest of things and find it hard at times to be moved by dramatic events.

It feels odd almost to have an ADULT  home, and ADULT relationship, make ADULT decisions regarding my(our) have someone other than myself to be aware of...and to want to be made aware of.

He is 7 years younger than me...(I KNOW..go girl...RIGHT??!!!) but I notice that difference....
I might not have a few years ago, but mind my age...ugh ok...4.......2....
wow that almost
there is a definite difference to who I was just 4 years ago to who I am today.  I happy for it.  I'm calmer.  I like my own company better.  I enjoy doing..just doing different things. I no longer feel the need to be at the front row of a concert...the sound is better in the back.  I don't need to be first in line...I have time..I can enjoy just being where I am. 
I look at things differently.   I accept some things easier, and completely WON'T  accept other things that, just a few years ago might have been perfectly ok.

I'm sure this is rambling and convoluted.  I'm a bit out of practice, but now that I am not working crazy hours I PROMISE to keep this up more regularly... and I also promise to be more candid..about my time in Doha, now that I am no longer there...and to let you know what life is like in Dubai.

Onward with the new adventures. Dubai. Marriage.  Career.
Life is moving swiftly....let's keep our eyes open so we don't miss anything....

No comments: