Tuesday, January 25, 2011

it's a new year...and a new outlook....

Well...seems I'm still shit at keeping up with the blogging, but I've recently received a few random exchanges with people who have just found..AND READ...this blog and they geve me the incentive to get back at it.
Thanks all!!!
Ok...so what's been going on since August?
Well...I went to Shanghai for a few days. That was a great city. It reminded me of what NYC circa 1970's was probably like. Seedy with the urge to be glam. Raw with the need of refinement. Dark and light at the same time. Something on the verge of becoming something else.
And then i realized that that's me.

Ok..so flash forard to New Years. Oh, wait...let's back up just a little... so about Oct time I met Michael Bowen. Mutual friends, yadda yadda...I was hosting a stand up open mic night a t Lava lounge. A friend of mine came in to try his hand at comedy and brought Mike. Well..needless to say Mike cracked me up and captivated my attention. And my hand as I recal.
We spent that night out on the town(a school night mind you) till about 4 am.
A few dates later...one big ole fight where he was just being a big dummy head, 4months later...and here we are....Making plans for OUR future...but more about that in a moment.

So...we planned on heading out to Phx for New Year's Eve...
sometime between getting on the plane and jan 2nd my L4-L5 disk exploded. We went to the Thompson Peak Scottsdale Emergency room, got a new MRI done and was basically not allowed to leave. I was in surgery about 45 min after having the MRI.
Turns out there were a lot of things going on. The disk had been laying on some nerves for a long time that were preventing my bladder from functioning properly so i had a baaad infection there...as well as causing my kidneys to not work right. Along with the hardening around the nerves from laying on them for so long, that when the disk exploded it was actually a blessing.
Thank God for Dr. Paul Gause!! He is an amazing surgeon. The pain of surgery doesn't come close to the pain I have been in for so long...with no real relief in sight. I was told for so long that nothing was really that wrong and there was nothing to be done about it...But when the thing exploded it was like...OH...I GUESS SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE DONE....lol
I'm on the mend and feeling sooo much better. I am able to stand and walk. My bladder doesn't hurt...kidneys are working well...
So, Mike was here for the surgery and for almost a week after. He was amazing!! He really took care of me, looked after me, made sure I didn't overdo, and pushed me to get out of bed and move around...even if it was only down the hall of the hotel...
He didn't loose his shit on me when I was being a pain in the ass...which, if you know me, I can be...
and thru it all he was as loving as anyone can ever hope for.

After he left I decided to stay in the hotel for a few more days before going to my mom's. If you know my mom you will know why...the house is a landmine...and i didn't want to be a bother to her. She's on dyalisis and can't do too much herslf...so having to take care of me would have been too much. So the hotel was a great option. Housekeeping, room service...and the nurse from the hospital came by to check on me.

I'm at Mom's now. It's been good to be here w her...but tough too. I hate having to be in one place. I'm rarely ever sitting still...so sittiing here in the house, with no tv, staring at my mother...while she stares at me...AAARRRRGGGGHHHHH
I'm doing PT. It's going well. Stretching and massage and such. I have to really force myself to do it...little by little. I'm not a little by little kinda girl. I feel better than I have in years...I want to start body building again...but not just yet says Dr Gauss.
Three months. But I should be able to get back to doing everything I used to.
Well...perhaps with the exception of bullriding...lol

Ok...back to Mike and me...so weare talking about the future. It's an awesome feeling for me. I've never ever ever been with some with whom I can talk about future plans and feel like they might actually happen...ok let's be honest... I have never been with someone with whom I could talk about future plans....lol

Looks like eventually we might end up in either SE Asia or South Africa. But that's a while away yet...
I am also getting closer to knowing what I want to do with my life... because being an employee AINT it.
I am taking the TEFL online program...if you don't know what it is, it's Teaching English as a Foreign Language.
I will earn a certification that should allow me to teach english to non english speakers worldwide.
So having this will help with my future goal....I'm not going to put it down here yet as I'm still not in a position to do it and idon't want any of you to steal my idea...lol
But...if anyone reading this is part of a program, group or non profit that deals in capacity building projects please email me at nikired@att.net and we can talk..

so a few more weeks here then back to Doha. and Mike.
Yay Mike...boooo Doha

Oh ok so Mike...he's South African/Welch...interesting accent...lol
he's in IT for the past 13 years...no i don't really know what that means either...lol
He has just received his FGASA certifications...(that's ranger/tracker training) and his frflery certs. He is looking to go into natrure conservation and really wants to get back to SA and work in one of the reserves.
We are thinking about getting our diving certs as well as off roading certs in April.
So that where ever he goes, I can go too....
So see, what I said at the beginning of this blog is true.
I am on the verge of becoming something other than what I've been. And it feels really good to finally have someone in my life whom not only do I make better...but who also is interested in making me a better, stronger person too.
It's always been one sided before. Me helping the other person accheive. Grow. Accept. Expand.
Now...for the first time ever...it's mutual. And it feels amazing to valued like that.

So thanks to everyone who reads this...i promise to try to be more on top of it. And when ever I happen to leave the middle east I have a ton of stuff to say...that I cant' say now.(censorship and all...)lol
ok ciao for now...and wish me luck on the TEFL ...
ugh, haven't studied in YEARS!!!!!