I don't feel as if I am fully embracing my new experience. I sit here at this cafe at the Souk Waquif and look at all of the poeple who are here...and think...am I allowing myself to accept this great gift of an adventure, to learn about a new culture.. .to learn about myself...to absorb all that I can?
They are from all walks of life, every part of the globe. Some LOOK like tourists, some LOOK like natives. Some look shell shocked and some look relaxed. I wonder what I convey to those who are looking at me.
A man walked past me a moment ago (which is what promped this musing). Obviously not from here. Western dressed... jeans, red t-shirt. He looked like he was Hawaiian from South Cali....very artsy and surfy all at the same time. And just from the way he carried himself... his vibe... you felt as if "here is someone who SAVOURS his experiences." Now, I could be totally wrong with my assumption, but that is the feeling I got... and it made me envious.
I feel like I am the consumate outsider. Always searching. Never really at peace with where or who I am.
I woke up the other morning asking myself "why do I always seem to be dissatisfied...not fully content". Always looking forward...sometimes backward... but rarely, very rarely, able to be in this moment, right now. SAVOUR it. Taste it. Commit it to memory...all of the colors, smells, emotions of this one, singular, unique moment in MY life.
Sitting here, in this place, the Old Souk, which was originally built thousands of years ago...in this modern cafe, reflecting on the past...looking to the future.... I am trying to savour THIS ONE MOMENT...and to be at peace.
Last night a friend of mine introduced me to a song... and for some reason the words have been bumping around in my head...
They shut the gates at sunset
After that you can't get out
You can see the bigger picture
Find out what it's all about
You're open to the skyline
You won't want to go back home
In a garden full of angels
You will never be alone
But oh the road is long
The stones
That you are walking on
Have gone
With the moonlight to guide you
Feel the joy of being alive
The day that you stop running
Is the day that you arrive
And the night
That you got locked in
Was the time to decide
Stop chasing shadows
Just enjoy the ride
If you close the door
To your house
Don't let anybody in
It's a room
That's full of nothing
All that underneath your skin
Face against the window
You can watch it
Fade to grey
And you'll never
Catch the fickle wind
If you choose to stay
But oh the road is long
The stones
That you are walking on
Have gone
'
With the moonlight to guide you
Feel the joy of being alive
The day that you stop running
Is the day that you arrive
(Chorus)And the night
That you got locked in
Was the time to decide
Stop chasing shadows
Just enjoy the ride
Stop chasing shadows
Just enjoy the ride
